Last night Nicholas came over, and we played beer pong. Singles. He beat me, and I lost a bet. Now I'm to post a status of how 'awesome' he is once every 24 hours for the next 25 days. Stupid, maybe. But it's fun.
Some time around 2 am we lost our shirts. We went outside, so I could have a cigarette. I thought of Audrey and started sobbing. I don't know where it came from, but it was awful. I honestly think it may have been the hardest I've cried since infancy. It wasn't all because of her, but more so the recognition that literally everyone outside of my family that i've grown close to has walked away. So, evidentially, I've grown fearfull of getting close to anyone.
I think this is an unrealistic fear. I know that the reasons each person has left my life have been justified, more or less. But depite that recognition, I couldn't help but to wonder how long he'll actually stick around as he cradled me back to sanity.
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