I'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart.

I don't know why you aren't talking to me. I thought we were going to be friends again, eventually. That we'd meet up, and talk. That's the impression you left me with. And I won't approach you with this by texting you, or calling. Because you don't want me to do that. But if you do want me in your life, you're reading this. Youve typed in the URL to this blog, and allowed yourself the curiosity to read these words. And if you've done that much, you can't blame me for hoping that means eventually you'll do a little bit more. You were my best friend, and it's been hard on me too. I've made mistakes, but I've learned from them, without you holding my hand. Without the promise of you being around ever again. I've learned that if I am optimistic, I am invincible. I am growing, and you are in the back of my mind. I'm not really sure what as, but you are. I can hear a police siren without having to hold back the tears, or even thinking of you now. I can't always bring myself to take Nicholson all the way home, like I used to coming back from your house. Even if it's the most conveniant route. I always look at your house when I go to the movies. I miss Tuk so much it hurts. I was trying to tell a friend about him the other day, and I started crying. My Mom misses you. And she won't talk about it, but I know she does. I've started getting close to this guy Nick Tussler. I dated him when I was in middle school, and I don't know if you know him, but he is a good guy despite his shitty taste in music. We've both just gotten out of really serious relationships and don't want to be with anyone, but really enjoy spending time together. He tells me he has a lot of respect for you, and he almost feels bad for caring about me at times, because he can tell how much you mean to me. He tells me with the way I talk about you, it's almost like I'm still your girl. I don't know if you're going to read this, And you don't have to talk to me, but I just hope that you havent forgotten me, and that you are happy. I really hope that you are happy. You're still in my heart.