Vienna Waits

I'm worried. And I don't know if I really should be. Loss and loneliness always manage to throw me into loops of doubt. Loneliness is currently present, sends in the fear of losing.. something, someone. Being grounded kind of messes with my head, but I think it's good. Growing.. And the doubting thing, I'm not going to let myself dwell on. First of all because I have no facts yet, and second of all I just have too many other things I need to focus on. Those things and just knowing that everything will be perfectly fine in no time at all. Summer is well on it's way, grades are looking up, and im no longer anticipating that next year is going to be so tough. I'm deciding to stay at case and have a senior year. There's no significant other that's pushing me to get out and grow up, and there are definitely perks when it comes to college what with IB testing and (according to my counselor) 4 year colleges are more likely to accept a 4 year high school graduate.

I'm sort of wondering if I've made a mistake. Ugh, I said I wasn't going to think about this, did'nt I? Life is good. Life is good. Life is suffering, and I'm learning to accept that. Therefore, life is good. I am content. Two songs spinning in my head.

"Sucker love a box I choose,
No other box I choose to use.
Another love I would abuse.
No circumstances could excuse.

In the shape of things to come,
too much poison, come undone.
Cause there's nothing else to do. Every me and Every you"




Every Me and Every You - Placebo

The other doesn't need to be mentioned.