DOUBLEDOSE

I am everything you have ever wanted. I am a doll, dressed in floral prints with pronounced collar bones. I am looking right through you. I am the little punk girl all of your friends love, with all the right things to say. I am too honest, I am mean. Ill look great on your arm and keep the chase. I am oh so understanding, and I am ok in the silence. I am a mind game, a sinking ship. I am the girl of your dreams, and your worst nightmare. You love me, you hate me. You love to hate me. You hate loving me, and youre far too much of a pussy to escape me. But if you ever do, I'll fall in love with you too.

My room is very cold at the moment. And I'm thinking about how whenever I cut my hair, it's like within a day I can't remember what it was like longer. I get like that in various aspects of life. Its like all of a sudden ive mentally blocked out
(insert drastic change) and cant make sense of anything. What a terrible coping method. Im going to see my counseler tomorrow and drop my theater class. Too much, too inconsitant. I cant handle a whimsy grade scale without being terrified for my GPA. Second semester of my senior year. A A A A D B, not bad. Next week I dont start class til 915. Classs for two hours, off for two hours, class for two hours. Talk about inconvinance.

I have absolutely no idea how I got here.